


it's in my bones(to love you)

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, KIND OF I GUESS, M/M, No Dialogue, What do I tag this with, how do you even tag, iwaois - Freeform, new phone who dis taken seriously?, no dialogue is only in the first chapter though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 19:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7654033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>King/knight drabbles.</p><p>
  <i>I kept our photos in a drawer,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>People don't keep those any more,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>But I did,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Can't get rid,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Of who we were before.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to One More Weekend by Against the Current while reading this!
> 
> WELL... it's not a very good fic, and I probably didn't do my favorite pairing justice. I HOPE IT'S AT LEAST DECENT BUT IT'S PROBABLY NOT AHHH IM NOT REALLY CONFIDENT IN THIS + I JUST WOKE UP AND HAD THIS IDEA SO YEAH.
> 
> ALSO I MOSTLY DIDN'T EDIT ANY OF THESE SO YEAH I ALSO FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THESE DRABBLES WILL MOSTLY BE INSPIRED BY AGAINST THE CURRENT'S ALBUM IN OUR BONES (' 3 ')

_Tooru._

_Hajime._

The beautiful blue palace and the stone walls encasing it, the ardent and devoted knight and the great king, the alpha and his beta, the water to his fire, the strength to his intelligence.   

They were too good to be true, they were an ideal that could not become a constant, so prototypical, that things had to fall apart someday. They held on to each other while it lasted, clinging to the other’s arms with a ferocity that rivalled the way oysters clung on to their pearls. And, in a way, they were each other’s pearls, each boy seeing each other as the shining counterpart to their dull ones.

And when things finally fell apart at the seams, crumbling around them until there were walls around them on every side, bricks that had once seemed friendly now seeming inhospitable and antagonistic, blocking every entrance, barricading every exit. When the walls collapsed, it had been too long.

 

\- & -

They used to play in the gardens together.

The fields was barren without dark, bristly hair and suntanned skin, narrowed hazel eyes and scarred knees, plain brown . The sun shone but it still seemed cloudy, it was bright, but it was still overcast.

Hajime stared at his phone, gripping it so tightly he thought it would combust in his hand, the batteries and wires spilling out like electronic vomit. His knuckles turned white and his fingers numb, as he tried to think about anyone but him. _Hell, he wanted to think about anything_ but him.

But he couldn’t.

Years and passed and hours had crawled by.

It had been 3 years, 152 days, 13 hours, 4 minutes, and 58 seconds since they’d left each other, and Hajime was back in town and his heart was broken inadvertently by the boy that believed in aliens, and sat on the roof to look for UFOs, and brush his hair 75 times before bed, and trimmed his hair too much, the boy that had been crippled and shattered by a loss to an eagle, the boy that had broken his promise, the boy that had left when he’s promised his future to him, the boy that had taken his heart and thrown it away to pursue his dreams. He couldn’t forget the boy that he loved.

 

\- & -

Hajime had called, but Tooru wouldn’t pick up.

The first beep left his heart lurching up into his throat, the second split his chest in half, the third leaving him laying on the floor, tears threatening to spill over and legs splayed on the rough carpet, face blank and conveying no emotion.

And his finger slipped, and he’s leaving a message without even meaning to. (Or maybe he meant to send him a message.)

 _Hey._ Hajime gulps, throat bobbing as his eyes look around frantically for an escape.

 _I’m back home. Did you miss me, Shittykawa?_ He sends, fingers tapping busily, almost frantically.

 _I won’t be here long, I'm just here for the weekend._ _I’m at my mom’s. Tried to call you, but you didn’t answer. You’re probably ignoring me. I know it’s 2 AM, but you were always a night owl. I wonder if you’ve changed at all...? I hope not._ Hajime lets out a dry chuckle.

 _It’s probably selfish of me to hope you haven’t changed, to hope that you’ll still rely on me, lean on me like you used to. I don’t even know if you remember me, but I…_ Hajime takes in a deep breath, bracing himself.

 _I miss you._ The words come rushing out like a broken dam, and his fists are clenched around his phone.

 _I want to go back. I want to run around the neighborhood at midnight with you, I want to catch fireflies with you and put them in a jar and then have you cry on my shoulder when they die, I want you to show me those stupid conspiracy shows you watch, I want to climb trees with you, and make fun of Ushijima, and I…_ He pauses. He doesn’t think he’s ever shown this much emotion in one go after Tooru left.

 _I want you._ He feels the familiar wetness in his eyes come back up.

 _Tooru, I can’t move on. I’m stuck, and I can’t get anywhere.  I’m not me, without you._ He waits for the messages to send, when a reply is sent. His eyes widen, and he stifles a gasp along the sleeve of his sweater.

Hajime jumps up, his body shaking in a mixture of excitement and fear.

_Error 407: recipient no longer exists._

\- & -

It was a car accident.

Hajime won’t be the same ever again.


	2. never too late to start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _do you remember,_
> 
> _feeling invincible?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gravity - Against The Current

_do you remember,_

 

_feeling invincible?_

 

_- & -_

 

Moonbeams filtered through the slightly ajar gym window, landing on a tall boy spinning a volleyball on his finger. He stared intently at the volleyball, as if it held the key to world peace. A soft wind tumbled through the open crack in the window, and slightly ruffled his dark brown hair(which happened to be the same color as the rich loam in the butterfly garden they’d planted in 3rd grade).

 

The boy rubbed at his defined temples, as if contemplating something deeply frustrurating. He closed his eyes, as if making a final decision. He reached for the window, shutting it with a loud slam that resounds in the empty gym. The boy then let the finality of his choice(whatever the choice he had made was) sink in, and fetches his bag from the locker room, tugging it onto his shoulder with a small grunt. He left the gym, favoring his right leg just a little.

 

He ignored the ache of his right knee, and the throbbing heat that coursed through his thigh whenever he moved.

 

The night chill greeted him as he exited the gymnasium, and he pulled his jacket a little tighter around himself, rubbing his hands together to conserve warmth. It wasn’t exactly cold, but he didn’t have much body heat to spare, and even the slightest wind could bring goosebumps to his arms and raise the hairs on his neck. "Iwa-chan?" He called into the darkness, but the gloom seemed to absorb all the sound around him.

 

“Oi.” A gruff voice sounded from just a little ways back, and he turns to see a dark-skinned boy around his age with defined biceps and dark hazel eyes(the same shade of green and grey as his old cat, Olive’s eyes. The very same cat that had gotten run over by a bright red truck just over a year ago. Ah, memories).

 

“Hajime?” The boy cracked a small grin at the other -Hajime- who had been standing behind him, and attempted to walk over to him with a barely noticable limp.

 

He'd been reaching for Hajime, when Hajime decided to reach out and slap him in the face, leaving a fading red mark that stood out with brilliant contrast against the pale expanse of his features. Hajime’s slightly disgruntled expression and furrowed brow indicated his annoyance. The other boy decided to lay off on the snarky remarks for a while. Tomorrow, he decided, he would be back with a whole new arsenal of insults to bombard Hajime with, to make up for the absence of banter in their daily conversation that had been occuring as of late.  
  
“Ow!” The boy yelped indignantly. “Hajime, what the hell was that for?” He pouted petulantly, eyes wide and innocent, bottom lip stuck out.

 

“You overworked yourself again, didn’t you, Tooru.” His question sounded more like a statement than a query. Tooru flinched a little at the frankness of his tone, and let out a tiny squeak of protest, which was quickly shot down by a dispassionate glare that lacked the heat that it should.

 

“I can see your limp, you know. I’m not blind.” Hajime retorted bluntly, tone flat and face unimpressed. But Tooru didn't really hear Hajime's words, because all he could really see was the swirling depths of his eyes and the thickness of his arms, his sharp jawline and sharp nose...

 

“Hey! Oikawa! Shittykawa! Tooru! Are you even listening to me?” he snapped, his displeasure evident in his tone. Tooru snaps back into reality, blinking as he tries to process what just happened. “Huh?”

 

“Oh, my god, you absolute dumbass, I-” Hajime stops himself abruptly, and pauses for thought. “You know what, forget it. You’re listening now, so…just don’t stay at the gym this late again, alright? Your knee’s going to get worse if you exert yourself for too long, so make sure to control how much time you spend on it, alright?”  


 

“Yeah, yeah.” Tooru waves his hand. “I won’t stay late anymore. But, Iwa-chan?”

 

Hajime raises his head, questioning. “Hmm?”

 

“Sorry I wasn’t listening to you. Your voice is just so boring, I couldn’t help but to zone out!” Tooru makes sure to add an extra trill at the end of his sentence, just so it sounded extra annoying. Perfect(there goes his plan of laying off on the insults).

 

“Well fuck you too, Trashykawa.” Hajime grumbles lowly.

 

“It’s okay, Iwa-chan! I understand why you want to fuck me. I am quite fit, after all.” Oikawa chirped, running his hands through his hair as clouds shrouded the moon in the murkiness of nightfall.

 

“Why am I even friends with you?” Hajime complained, though the cutting words have none of the bite they would normally carry.

 

“Because I make you stronger.” Oikawa replies, suddenly serious. His normally sing-song voice lowers, and his eyes dilate, focusing on Hajime. “And, Hajime?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“When I’m with you, I feel invincible.” His words were(still are) laced with wonder and dreaminess, the way a new couple might sound when they talk about each other, and he stared at Hajime a little bit too long with a gaze that has a little bit too much intensity, but that’s okay, because Oikawa has always been “a little bit too much,” but Hajime knows how to handle him.

 

_- & -_

 

_when there was trouble,_

 

_it was us against the world,_

 

_- & -_

 

“Hajime.” Tooru’s words were stiff, his smile forced.  “Hajime, I didn’t want to lose.”

 

“Dumbass, nobody wants to lose. Nobody goes into a battle and wishes for defeat. But losing is part of learning. You learn from your mistakes, remember?” Hajime’s smile is mellow and his tone is subdued, even sweet.

But Tooru’s face still looked ready to crumple at any time, like a fragile yet beautiful crane made of parchment paper, set above a fire and left to burn.

 

But there were pebbles, boulders, enveloping him, closing him in, a warm, unchanging constant that would never change.

 

And Hajime was the rock wall that surrounded him, absorbing every hit, a comforting presence that Tooru knew would always be _there_. He was sturdy and true, a steady companion that was so much more than just ‘Oikawa’s sidekick.’

 

“Tooru.” Hajime set a hand on his back. A gentle guiding grip, stroking his back, sending thrills down his spine and electricity tingling all the way down to his toes. “Tooru.”

 

“Yeah?” The words had come out weaker than he’d initially expected, more a sigh than a statement. Shaky exhales escaped his parted lips as he looked fixedly at Hajime’s sharp eyes(they reminded him of the lichen on trees after summer storms), inadvertently letting out a small sigh as his fingers pressed into the knot of tension in his neck.

 

“Tooru,” and then Hajime was so _close_ , and _he didn’t know what to do_ , what did he _do_ , oh _lord_ , he was really panicking now, _god help him_ -

 

And then lips met lips, and with a bewildered gasp and a tiny snicker, something beautiful was born.

 

_- & -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS EQUALLY BAD AS THE FIRST CHAPTER IM SO SORRY THIS IS TOTALLY UNEDITED

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first work and it's not very good? I don't know. I'm not very good at characterization, so I apologize if this isn't up to par!
> 
> I hope you liked it! (@^@)
> 
> Scream at me on tumblr: @ohshititsoikawa


End file.
